A Covert Message

Don't worry I got your message, it was pretty clear
Its pretty obvious that you don't want me near
It is so ever clear to be now
I'm just going to shield my heart, and hurt to not allow

Sometimes the silence can be so loud
Ear splitting, much like at a metal concert in the crowd
The sound is deafening and making my entire body tremble
I know I need to go, because my brain has stared to disassemble

I'm really sorry I can't stay, but I can treat my heart this way
I'm not going to put it through the pain of this sad ballet
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to dance the night away with you
But every time I get close, I get pushed away and cut through

I'd like to be able to say that we can do a Tango
And be as happy as a mango
But every time I do, You won't let me take the lead
Instead, we fumble around until you just get up and leave

I make the effort for us to have a time to talk
But it feels like I'd have better luck swimming under a dock
I get nothing back, sometimes for what seems days
I'm just burning up on re-entry in a fiery blaze

All I ask is that it be a two way street
That you don't leave me dangling, trying to accomplish and impossible feat
Just every now and then throw me a bone
To let me know that this is still what you want and I'm not swimming in a rip tide zone

If you don't want this anymore, please just let me know
I'd rather know and be hurt than be trying and have woe
Things are constantly changing, including things about me
But if you could be so kind as to inform me of where I be

I mean you no disrespect when I say these things
Just need to get my heart out, to let those strings sing
I'm just having a tough time coping with my entir e life
It feels like a race to the death, like trying to grab a double edged knife

I'll continue to pretend I'm okay and struggle on
But inside, I'm confused and hurting just wanting to make it to dawn
To watch the sunrise and be who I am supposed to be
So I can go back to being, everybody's big strong tree.

Amendum 4/27/2012:
I don't want what we have to die
wanting it to last is far from a lie
I wouldn't have it any other way than you and
For it just seems like something is meant to be

I just don't want to be the one always reaching it
Maybe every more and the maker the first move and brush away my clouds
I know what we have is no where near ideal
But its the best we got, and we ate keeping it real

So I just ask please let me know
If you truly want me around for the show
And show that you mean it by giving the first move a go
And maybe tell me things you don't tell every other soul

I don't want to be the last one to know what's going on
Id rather have that conversation one on one
It doesn't always have to be happy our sad
I'd still love to talk to you even if you're mad

I want to be your best friend you can tell anything
And somebody that you feel the need to hide something
Regardless of the time day it night
I will be here should you need me too help fight

You will always be an amazing girl
Nobody could taker that from you in the while wide world.