In the Face of Adversity

When facing the impossible we put our game face on
Only to try and trick the impossible that it is wrong
Its not really how we feel inside
Because all we wanna do is break down and cry

We try and be the best that we can be
And hope that we don't fall out of life's tree
We do our best to put on the mask of confidence
When really we struggle to hold onto consciousness

I'm not sure how much longer I can weak the mask
Because I can see, it is starting to get full of cracks
I don't want to let anybody else see it shatter
As my entire life comes crashing down in a clamor

Running away isn't going to fix the problem any better
In fact, I may just feel as though I have been through a shredder
I need to find a way to fix how I'm feeling inside
But nothing I seem to do stops the backward slide

I need to put myself into my crawler gear and start the climb
For this is my time to start to shine
Just gonna get the clutch loose and pop the gear free
Then drop it down a couple notches and let the gas flow with speed

But that is the hard part, being able to get my brain focused enough
To let me change the gear, to get going and stop from sliding off the bluff
But so far it doesn't look as though it is going to happen
But who knows maybe I'll be saved by a flying dragon

For now it seems as though I'll still be on triage of the brain
To stop my mind from feeling like something will remain
That when is all said and done, that I will make it through the day
When the sun sets, I'll have made it through the daily fray.

Stupid Mistakes

Shouldn't have ever let go
Never should have given less than 100% row
Stupidly let my guard down
Losing everything dear, looking like a clown

No idea what crazy thoughts crept into my brain
Nothing makes sense in this crazy mind regime
Just watching as all that I love slipped away
Now I just watch from a distance as it lives on anyway

Just sitting and waiting, watching as others enjoy
They just don't even care, that I am in fact a boy
I have feelings and that I can't stand being thrown around
And having my mind thrown and whipped around on the floor

So now I just have to sit and watch
As somebody else enjoys my failure to launch
So back to shuffling my feet and looking at the ground
I don't think I can keep going pound for pound

I lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling
Not being able to sleep, not able to start my healing
Never being able to sleep should probably end up killing me
But I'm stuck doing it anyways, my mind is a black sea

My mind, A whirlwind of Everything

I can't really explain things better than the song I'm going to post at the end, but I'm going to try, for me because I need too. But I'll force you to read my stuff (or at least make you scroll over it) to get to the song. As I've gone on to type, I've realized that it is two songs. So you will get them at the end.

Every time I spin around I swear I see your face in the crowd
I spend the next couple seconds searching, but everything is so loud
Then I get back to my sense and realize that you aren't here
There is no reason, you wouldn't want to show me your face I fear

I don't know why I keep dragging my feet through that same muddy water
Just getting my feet wet, treating my mind like cannon fodder
I need to find a new way to walk, a new path to let my eyes see
There will always be an overlap, but maybe I can finally set my mind free

I would give up everything, save nothing to put a smile on your face
Just to see you happy, jumping, dancing, and uplifted, would be my biggest grace
To see those feet fly around the floor, skimming and pushing it around
This is when you are most beautiful, it wouldn't be far fetch to be on your head a crown

But for now I'll just sit here and stare at the ceiling as I lay in bed
Wondering, what do I have to do to take back my head
But part of me doesn't ever want to get any of it back
Just letting you roam about it, even though I get a mild anxiety attack

Even though it hurts to see your face everywhere I crawl
It hurts even more when you don't even speak to me, nothing at all
Not hearing how your day goes, or something big that happens in your life
Makes me feel down,and fills my head with strife

I'm just like any other human being, I just want to be genuinely loved
Nothing else, just wanted, needed, just to be somebodies beloved
So here I'll just stand my ground, and try not to move
Because that's the best option, one of solitude


SO here are the two songs I was talkin abouts...

Feast your ears.