A Covert Message

Don't worry I got your message, it was pretty clear
Its pretty obvious that you don't want me near
It is so ever clear to be now
I'm just going to shield my heart, and hurt to not allow

Sometimes the silence can be so loud
Ear splitting, much like at a metal concert in the crowd
The sound is deafening and making my entire body tremble
I know I need to go, because my brain has stared to disassemble

I'm really sorry I can't stay, but I can treat my heart this way
I'm not going to put it through the pain of this sad ballet
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to dance the night away with you
But every time I get close, I get pushed away and cut through

I'd like to be able to say that we can do a Tango
And be as happy as a mango
But every time I do, You won't let me take the lead
Instead, we fumble around until you just get up and leave

I make the effort for us to have a time to talk
But it feels like I'd have better luck swimming under a dock
I get nothing back, sometimes for what seems days
I'm just burning up on re-entry in a fiery blaze

All I ask is that it be a two way street
That you don't leave me dangling, trying to accomplish and impossible feat
Just every now and then throw me a bone
To let me know that this is still what you want and I'm not swimming in a rip tide zone

If you don't want this anymore, please just let me know
I'd rather know and be hurt than be trying and have woe
Things are constantly changing, including things about me
But if you could be so kind as to inform me of where I be

I mean you no disrespect when I say these things
Just need to get my heart out, to let those strings sing
I'm just having a tough time coping with my entir e life
It feels like a race to the death, like trying to grab a double edged knife

I'll continue to pretend I'm okay and struggle on
But inside, I'm confused and hurting just wanting to make it to dawn
To watch the sunrise and be who I am supposed to be
So I can go back to being, everybody's big strong tree.

Amendum 4/27/2012:
I don't want what we have to die
wanting it to last is far from a lie
I wouldn't have it any other way than you and
For it just seems like something is meant to be

I just don't want to be the one always reaching it
Maybe every more and the maker the first move and brush away my clouds
I know what we have is no where near ideal
But its the best we got, and we ate keeping it real

So I just ask please let me know
If you truly want me around for the show
And show that you mean it by giving the first move a go
And maybe tell me things you don't tell every other soul

I don't want to be the last one to know what's going on
Id rather have that conversation one on one
It doesn't always have to be happy our sad
I'd still love to talk to you even if you're mad

I want to be your best friend you can tell anything
And somebody that you feel the need to hide something
Regardless of the time day it night
I will be here should you need me too help fight

You will always be an amazing girl
Nobody could taker that from you in the while wide world.

Touching, the feel of your skin.

I don't touch you to be creepy
Nor do I do it to make you weepy
Just the feel of your skin against mine
The only way to describe it is blissfully divine

The texture of your arm on the pads of my fingers
The smoothness of your leg on mine lingers
The warm gentle heat that you give back to me
The feeling, is so amazing, just an amazing spree

I don't touch you because I want to be that awkward guy
I touch you because I love the way you make my head fly
I don't poke you because I want to get in a fight
I poke you because it makes my heart jump with delight

Just to be around you makes my who day a little brighter
Even if its just for a moment, it always makes it better
Just the simple touch of holding your hand for a minute or two
Even if its just if it only gives me a few minutes to woo you.

I don't know what I'd do if I could never touch you again
Just the tiny spark when our pinkies intertwine
The small little moment, where I feel like more than a man
Those are the moments when kiss you I can

For those are the days I shall miss the most
Holding your hand as we walked along the sunny coast
The sun shining through your hair and across your face
And how all of us sudden it could turn into a race

One day the waves will wash me ashore once more
Where I can then run around, and swing a girl across the dance floor
I've learned that one can never miss a chance to dance
Because just like that you are both in a trance

Where the skin to skin contact isn't awkward or weird
Its a chance to get to physically get to know them that is revered
The touching and the gliding in rhythmic motion
To be kissed at the end of the song, she only need to give the notion.

Standing, Staring, Precariously Balanced

I stand, both feet firmly planted on what seems like ground
In front and on my left and right nothing but horizon can be found
I look down at where my feet seem to be planted
To my surprise I see a seemingly endless decent

I know I'm not here to jump or anything
But I can't figure out how I got here, did I sprout wings....
I know I came here to sit, listen and think
To get some place where my insanity isn't on the brink

I sit down and just look of into the distance to see what is there
But the longer I stare, I realize that sight seeing isn't what it is I care
The reason that I am up here, on the precariously perched ledge
Is to stop myself from slowly but surely going off the edge

I could stay up here all day, its the most peaceful I have been in awhile
Being up here, I know I can't stay, because this is merely a trial
The beauty of the world I see stretched out in front of me
From the rolling hills, to the big cities, and the blacktop to the forests filled with hundreds of trees

Most people feel the sunset is the most amazing time of the day to watch from on high
But I have to disagree,sun rise is, the way the sun races across the land lit from the sky
I see the line of light slowly creeping across the ground and watching the world wake up
Birds begin to fly, the streets begin to fill, and the sounds of life fly about, only missing a dude saying "sup"

I think I might just hang out here for awhile, and just watch the world spin a few times
Take notes, observe and learn more about who I am as a person, just sit and write some rhymes
Up here I shall be in a state of homage of sorts, a journey not so much of physical distance
But a mental journey to find my true self, no longer taking the path of least resistance

While sitting and acting as the observer may not be a path filled with lots of people
It is a space where I need to be, high above everything else, soaring like an Eagle
So here I will stay for a time, I'll look in upon myself and rely just on me for love
I am not expecting anybody else to do it, I'll be the releaser of my own dove.

I'm going to take a break from everything that I can
This is my time to learn to be a better man
This is where I should say adieu for now
If you just happen to look up every so often, you'll see me perched on the bow of where I stand now.