A recovery

So, last time I posted I went on a little bit of a rant.. and I apologize for that, it was a little unnecessary and slightly rude. But all the same my point is still the same, I'd just say it nicer next time.

For a status report of you all following.. I haven't really changed, if anything I got a little worse because of my stress load with school.. its really not good right now... Its a terrible spiral.

So I've been writing this for a few days and have started spring break.. and honestly it doesn't feel like it.. something just isn't right and it's just not what it should be, that's all.


So I know this poem will be a little out of season, since we just started spring, but I wanted to write it anyways.

The sun, beaming on all those in the area with warmth.
Nothing could be wrong with the day, the skies are clear and the winds are low.
The room is filled with warmth and all I can think of is to nap in it.
But I turn my head and see the most beautiful woman all dressed for the beach.

She slowly walks over and holds out her hand to with a smile.
All I do is groan and shift a little like I'm not ready to move cause I'm not.
A smile and giggle and a light kick from her bare feet all hit me at once.
How could one say no to this amazing woman, the one who I promise my life too.

So I get up slowly, almost painfully, just to watch her wait because her gaze has a feeling.
I know despite the many kicks I am receiving she loves me more than I could ever guess.
Up I stand, bringing myself to big brick wall stature, much bigger than she.
What does she do? she gets cute and puffs herself up just a big.

I can't help but back down laughing the entire way for we all know she is "bigger".
All I can do is to try and suck up to the monster before she is unleashed.
So what do I do, I surprise her with a big long kiss that seems to last for awhile.
A moment that she will remember all day and hopefully remember forever.

She had already packed for the beach during my cat nap.
Wearing her flipflops and a classy sun dress we begin our walk to the sand paradise.
We don't go to sun tan, or to just lay there and read we unleash our inner child.
Doing everything you wish you could do if nobody judged you.

We went galloping through the icy cold water, with the blue joy splashing in all direction from our childish thoughts.
Built the sand castles, or what appeared in our minds to be a sand castle but was more just a pile.
Kites were flown so high we couldn't see them in the sun until they came crashing down and we just hoped that it wouldn't hit a kid.
Then we were asked to join in a quick game of volleyball, we will just say we aren't the best at the game.

Once we had some fun we decided to call it quits on the beach for a bit.
So we found a nice hill to just sit and talk about anything, but she had a surprise a fuzzy blanket.
For there we just laid and looked at the clouds, finding the bunnies and tigers and showing each other.
Just like in the movies with our heads next to each other with her hair touching me face.

For then the sun began to set, she thought we were on our way back home, but I had a surprise in store for her.
We made our way back to the beach setting down the blanket again just in time to watch the sun go down.
All we did was sat there watching the sun go down and the birds fly across the large orange ball of flame.
Just in the last few seconds of daylight, I look at her and slowly start to lean in for a kiss, our lips touch.

But then something doesn't make sense, something isn't just the way I left it in my mind.
For then in clicks, it was all in my mind. I look down and see a book on my chest for I had fallen asleep on the couch.
I turn my head, still in hope that I may have just experienced it the day before, but alas to my heartbreak just a dream.
For I enjoyed the dream for awhile, but still sad that it wasn't my current reality. One day, one day...