A recovery

So, last time I posted I went on a little bit of a rant.. and I apologize for that, it was a little unnecessary and slightly rude. But all the same my point is still the same, I'd just say it nicer next time.

For a status report of you all following.. I haven't really changed, if anything I got a little worse because of my stress load with school.. its really not good right now... Its a terrible spiral.

So I've been writing this for a few days and have started spring break.. and honestly it doesn't feel like it.. something just isn't right and it's just not what it should be, that's all.


So I know this poem will be a little out of season, since we just started spring, but I wanted to write it anyways.

The sun, beaming on all those in the area with warmth.
Nothing could be wrong with the day, the skies are clear and the winds are low.
The room is filled with warmth and all I can think of is to nap in it.
But I turn my head and see the most beautiful woman all dressed for the beach.

She slowly walks over and holds out her hand to with a smile.
All I do is groan and shift a little like I'm not ready to move cause I'm not.
A smile and giggle and a light kick from her bare feet all hit me at once.
How could one say no to this amazing woman, the one who I promise my life too.

So I get up slowly, almost painfully, just to watch her wait because her gaze has a feeling.
I know despite the many kicks I am receiving she loves me more than I could ever guess.
Up I stand, bringing myself to big brick wall stature, much bigger than she.
What does she do? she gets cute and puffs herself up just a big.

I can't help but back down laughing the entire way for we all know she is "bigger".
All I can do is to try and suck up to the monster before she is unleashed.
So what do I do, I surprise her with a big long kiss that seems to last for awhile.
A moment that she will remember all day and hopefully remember forever.

She had already packed for the beach during my cat nap.
Wearing her flipflops and a classy sun dress we begin our walk to the sand paradise.
We don't go to sun tan, or to just lay there and read we unleash our inner child.
Doing everything you wish you could do if nobody judged you.

We went galloping through the icy cold water, with the blue joy splashing in all direction from our childish thoughts.
Built the sand castles, or what appeared in our minds to be a sand castle but was more just a pile.
Kites were flown so high we couldn't see them in the sun until they came crashing down and we just hoped that it wouldn't hit a kid.
Then we were asked to join in a quick game of volleyball, we will just say we aren't the best at the game.

Once we had some fun we decided to call it quits on the beach for a bit.
So we found a nice hill to just sit and talk about anything, but she had a surprise a fuzzy blanket.
For there we just laid and looked at the clouds, finding the bunnies and tigers and showing each other.
Just like in the movies with our heads next to each other with her hair touching me face.

For then the sun began to set, she thought we were on our way back home, but I had a surprise in store for her.
We made our way back to the beach setting down the blanket again just in time to watch the sun go down.
All we did was sat there watching the sun go down and the birds fly across the large orange ball of flame.
Just in the last few seconds of daylight, I look at her and slowly start to lean in for a kiss, our lips touch.

But then something doesn't make sense, something isn't just the way I left it in my mind.
For then in clicks, it was all in my mind. I look down and see a book on my chest for I had fallen asleep on the couch.
I turn my head, still in hope that I may have just experienced it the day before, but alas to my heartbreak just a dream.
For I enjoyed the dream for awhile, but still sad that it wasn't my current reality. One day, one day...

An Admittance

Okay, so as most of you, err well any of you who still read this at this point if any. Who knows I may just be talking to an empty room at this point, but I could care less, this helps clear my brain when it's so full that it wants to explode. Yet, I digress, as any of you still reading know, I mostly write poetry here, but before I get to that in this post I just wanna get some things off my chest, because while I love poetry, I just need to say this in plain English, no hidden messages, no misinterpretations, etc etc. Just simple and easy to understand.

So as those close to me know that I haven't been well off mentally for over a month, now approaching 2 months, depending on when you started counting. I can't really blame anybody else for this unhappiness, only myself. Now for those who wanting to say its not your fault, but somebody else's or more in particular a certain somebody, you're wrong. A break-up is well a break up, no ifs, and's or or's about it. And its not easy, and it hurts, some more than others.

While I'd like to be prideful and say I handled it "like a man," I'd rather be honest and say I haven't, cause we all know I'm not anywhere close to being normal, or back to my version of normal, and that's fine, I'll eventually get there in my own time. But there are a few things that have been bugging me about it, and its not like people are doing it on purpose, but there are 3 major things that set me off the wall..

1.) Stop blaming who I was with for being at fault, or saying it was her loss. Yeah, I like to think I'm a great guy (ya'll can be the judge of that) and that she is a great girl (to me that's still true, your opinions are your own.) Just because of what happened doesn't mean any one of us are going to be miserable for ever, I genuinely still want her to be as happy as she can possibly be, and if she feels so inclined would like to attend the wedding in some form. So for the love of everything sane, stop telling me this. It didn't work out romantically between us right now, it happens, she felt like I couldn't provide some things she wanted in a man in her life, and she is probably right, there are a few I can't provide, but that doesn't make me any less of a great guy.

2.) Stop telling me to move on and starting dating others and trying to set me up on dates or telling me I should ask somebody out. Just cut it off, if you think I'd work great with somebody, just have me and them hang out together, don't put me on the spot on a date with them, I'm a nice guy, of course I'm not going to say no, and you know it.. In it's simplest form its taking advantage of me. I'll find my own way of taking a girl out if I see something in her I like. Right now, I'm not at all interested in trying to find another date or a girl (explained further in 3) I'm still scared to jump back into the "pool", and I have no desire to get wet anyways right now.

3.) "Now you can date somebody who is close by and you can see all the time." You can't even believe how many times I've heard this line from people I know, including my parents (mostly my dad, for those of you who know, this has an extra piss off level for other reasons.) To me, love knows no bounds and no distance can separate it, yeah, its not easy, especially with me in school and stuck in the middle of no where with no car, but I've realized, I can put in the effort to try to make it less bad for the girl. Yes, I can honestly say I loved her, and for those of you about to asked "well, how many people has he said that too?" I can count them on one hand, there are 2 that aren't in my family. One is my best friend whom I've known for more years than I can actually remember life events, and the other is her. Yes, I'm not over it, I still do and always will, I just have to learn to transition from a romantic love, to a "I'm your best friend who will stop at nothing to make sure you aren't hurt, and will destroy anybody who hurts you" kind of love. Not going to be easy, I know.

What made me come to this realization you ask? its actually been a couple of things that have brought me to this point of publicly announcing all of this. I recently started following this guys blog (though admitting I have been subscribed to it for along time) but more specifically, this post, it got me thinking that this is my life, and yeah, I need to do something about it.  There is also the other fact that I was talking to one of my guy friends and on our walk to, at and fro the coffee shop we went to we had a kind of deep conversation that I can't let people tell me what to do with my love life, and that I need to be the master of it (well, I can't master it, but I can stumble along in my own path) and that I need to tell people what my place along my timeline is, yeah it sounds terrible and self centered to refuse help, but I'm not refusing help, I'm just saying I don't need the "Here, we set you up on a date, now go marry her and have 25 babies" kind of advice.  I'll find my soul mate in my own time and on my own terms.  Plus I'm one of those stubborn people who if you keep pestering me to do something, the less likely I am to do it, ever.

And while me and this other girl (not the one I was dating) didn't always get along, its kinda come together better, and I'm glad it did, because she is honestly an awesome person (No, I'm not going to date her..) And she and I went through the same kind of thing at roughly the same time frame, so we are kinda in this one together. We talked, and realized that you know there is a future waiting for us (To her it is god's plan, to me, its just unknown at this point. And to each there own, I've never had anything against those of faith, we all have our own live style.) So here is her blog, she is pretty chill, if your bored of reading this, which I'm sure you are, you can gander over there for awhile, then come back to this.... eventually.... I hope... Or at least hope you think about coming back to this eventually.

Okay, so now that I have that off my chest, I'll get back to what most of you are here, for which is poetry. So feel free to share my blog, quote me, what ever. I write it mostly for myself, but I'd be fine if it helped somebody else, or made somebody else's day as well. Also, no lies it will help me ego a bit, I feel kinda lame with 4 page views a week, but hey, its mostly for me anyways.  SO here you go.


Here I lay looking at the stars
They are the same stars as somebody from afar
But they are my starts here tonight
Just me and this brisk, clear night.

I know I'm selfish for seeing this all by myself
But, I truly need this, for my own health
Maybe one day I'll let somebody else into my secret spot
Where its nothing short of this perfect slot

I wish I could just fill up the tank and drive far away
Just let the night fade, and become day
Driving and driving until the tank reads empty
Far away from everything, and all society

Give me a few weeks to just clear my mind
A time to get me and my life in line
I'm tired of this show I put on for everyone
Like I'm a puppet under their thumb

But alas I can't because of school
Where I'm at not to be super cool
But to break my brain and learn
In this state of mind though, its hard to discern

Soon I'll have my head on straight
Where I can think and elaborate
Then I can speak my mind and be heard
Showing everyone, that I don't come third

But for now I need to figure out whats going on
For now I'm depressed and my motivation is gone
Trying every little thing to just go on with my day
Not even trying to stop the fray

Nights are by far the worst of them all
Where it is just me and my brain, no more wall
My thoughts running rampant and free
Brain, why aren't you thinking about what I need

Just wanting to wake up and share the mornings once more
With a girl who loves me as we walk out the french door
But alas this must also wait for I'm on my own
So for now about it I'll just moan and groan

Soon enough I'll wake up and hear the chirping birds once more
Not in the same rush to get out the front door
But to take the time to go outside and listen to what's here
Just taking in all the beauty around me that is near

As I lay my head down to rest
My mind reminds me to no one that I am pressed
But just you wait brain, soon I'll have my victory
I know my package of happiness is out for delivery

I apologize for this post being so long.. but I needed to get it all out. So hope you enjoy knowing a little more about me.

It's okay to admit, that you really aren't okay inside.

Nobody ever said it was unmanly
Not a soul said it was unsightly
The things we trick ourselves into thinking
When will it stop, with our emotions its only monkeying

Some will say they never cry
But, that is whole heartily a lie
From the wimpiest to the most manly man
They all cry, but to the inside do they cram

It is perfect fine to admit that you are not fine
To show that you are slowly losing your mind
That the feelings you have caged are making you ill
Saying that you have lost every ounce of will

Someday's you just want to slink around on the floor
Being simply, but a human caterpillar
Eat, Slink, Sleep, Slink, Slink and Slink some more
Not wanting to go anywhere near or out your door

Other times you just feel disabled and can't move
No desire, no drive, to even turn on your favorite song and groove
Where laying in bed all day sounds like a fantastic plan
This happens even to the best of men

But we all throw on our happy face and clothes and face the world
Cause why would anybody except our emotions to be whirled
We are always the brave one who could with stand anything
A hurricane, the front lines, the apocalypse, just everything

While on the outside we may just seem a little off
Just appearing as thought we can shrug it off with a skoff
But if you would only glimpse to what is going on inside of us
A nightmare, the worst storm of the century , but that would even begin to address

Some nights we get no sleep, just staring at the ceiling
wondering where the hell we went wrong, was there any feeling
Those are nights are the worse of any, by far
Sometimes it is enough tears to fill a large jar

The shakes, the aches, and the headaches
Just a daily dose of what we all hide
From everybody else we all know, there is something we hold inside
Never to let it out, we'd rather let it eat us alive

So here I am making my stand against the norm
Don't get me wrong I'll still weather the storm
But I'm no longer afraid to let the tears roll down my face
Slowly sliding down, as we make our fall from grace

All I have left to do is spread my wings and try to fly
I know I won't succeed the first time, and maybe get a black-eye
But if I just keep trying enough, then maybe one day I'll be airborne
Where I can fly free, escape the norm, expectations, and scorn.

For I will now rise from the ashes
Don't you dare call me pretentious
For here I make my stand to be nothing short of who I am
And for those with me, they will love me for everything I can't and can

A High School Crush

Walking in the halls of his educational establishment
Just to peek a glance at the girl that has caught his eye
To him, she is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen
A girl so pretty, that he convinces himself he stands no chance

Every day he walks right by her, seeing her face
But most days he can't even muster up the courage to say hi
Not even to speak a simple greeting
Maybe every one is right, she is out of his league

Every day in math they always sit next to each other
Day in and day out that math class is so boring
He's nice and makes sure to leave his paper visible enough
So that come test day, she will pass the test

Every day his friends at lunch tease him about his crush
Telling him there is no way in the world he'll land that catch
Always putting him down, and never telling him he can do it
So he believes that he can't do it, and he is "okay" with it now

So he just goes on with his day, repeating the same patterns
Wondering why he wasn't good enough for this girl
Just accepting that it must be because he is a nerd
Not realizing his friends planted that in his mind

Each and every day he says he will get more and more courage
So that one day soon he will be able to strike up a conversation
Then maybe he can express his feelings and throw his heart out
To hope that she catches it, and keeps it safe instead of throwing it to the ground

He will tell her how beautiful and lovely she is
And that he only wants to love and cherish her and treat her with respect
He just wants to be by her side when ever she needs it
But he never does, because his friends tell him he can't do it

Little does he know, that he isn't alone in this matter
But someone else is just as dumb founded and lost as he
All their friends telling them that the other isn't good enough
That it would be weird, they are from "two different parts of society"

Everyday since the 6th grade she has always found him cute
Not a day goes by where she doesn't want to just go up and say hi
Sneaking glances at him when she thinks he isn't looking
Just to see how cute he is everyday

No matter what she tells her friends, they never see past the outside
All they see is what appears on the surface, not who he really is
Falling to the stereotype and being disgusted that she would even think
To date a "guy like that" one that isn't as popular as they

Every day she tells her self just a little more courage
One day she will be able to just say hi
But that courage is hard to find, somewhere buried deep inside
The want and desire to break out of the stereotype that traps her

She sits next to him in math everyday, every single day
Not because she needs him to cheat off, because she secretly has a better grade
She just wants to be close to him, to feel like maybe there is something
To see his shining face every day, so she never forgets what it looks like

All she is hoping for is that maybe between the two of them there will be courage
Enough for one of them to start a conversation that leads to anywhere
Just a talk to get them lost in the moment and get them learning about each other
So that maybe, just maybe one day he will ask her out

Every year at the dances she either sees him with a girl that ditched him
Or notices that he never showed up, and there is only a simple thing she wants
To Dance that slow dance, and feel like the spotlight is on her
Not because she is popular, but because he is looking into her eyes

Should he offer up his feelings and heart to her
She'd take care of them with the greatest and most loving care
Never wanting to hurt or deny them leaving him hurt
For she loves and cherishes him every single day already

Days and weeks go by but nothing is happening between them
Just the same pattern that has been going on since 8th grade
Like this little dance they do, never to close, but never to far
A mutual friend has noticed these feelings as he saw them look at each other

This friend has no judgement, none at all, for he sees no reason for them not to try
So he begins to scheme, a schemish scheme, and idea so brilliant its simple
He sees that all he needs to do is get them to talk, to get the conversation flowing
So he invites both of them to lunch that Saturday, and of course they both agree

He really doesn't have to do much, he just says a few words to get them going
After awhile he notices things are going great, so he finishes up his lunch
Politely excusing himself from the table to a separate excuse
He goes up and pays the entire bill, and without a trace walks out

The following Monday when he gets to school he is in for a pleasant surprise
From the parking lot he seems them both walking, but this time its different
For they are hand in hand, and nothing is going to stop them
And from there the rest is history

They looked past what all their friends were saying, seeing what they saw
There couldn't be a tighter bond, or a stronger love in the world
They overcame everything in high school, the typical nerd and cheerleader
And that friend, he never expected anything in return, never brought it up as leverage

To this day, those two are still deeply and madly in love
nothing could tear them apart, not even a disaster
All grown up and married, and a set of kids. A boy and a girl
And guess who they made the godfather, the friend who just brought together true love

In My Mind And My Bed There Is Now An Empty Space

I just can't seem to get you off my mind
Nothing I do, no matter how hard I grind
You're always there, with no where to go
The thought of your face dangling to and fro

Just rolling over in my mind I feel a blank space
A space that was occupied by your loving face
But now it is empty and vast
But still your face can't be surpassed

No matter what I do, I can't seem to fill the void
My brain sits back and with its' self is toyed
I need to find a way to clear my brain
Or it seems like my heart will be forever in pain

Every night I can't stop tossing and turning
The comfort of cuddling your body I'm yearning
But here I lay just look at the space you used to take
Now all that's left is an air pocket in your wake

This feeling, I don't know how much more I can stand
To endure this you must be more than a man
I know it may sound quite crazy
But my mind, it surely is a big bully

All I can do is sit on this front porch and swing
and try to tell my self, that you weren't the one for my ring
It is harder than it seems
To go on with out your face lit by sunbeams

I miss your ever so gentle kiss
The one that brought me great bliss
The presence of your body against mine
As we'd drift off to dream worlds of our own design

With each day I hope it gets a little easier
That my days won't just get bleaker and bleaker
But who ever gets to put their ring on you
Won't make me look like a fool

So here's a toast to a future filled with grace
One filled with no disgrace
Aw who am I kidding its hard to keep this face straight
When it is only you that I want to date

Being alone is the worst feeling,
It makes your stomach go reeling.
Its a feeling that is the worst,
Nobody ever wants it first.

Christmas is a time that brings family together,
One time a year to be remembered forever.
But for some reason it can't fill that hole,
As having a lover in a tight hold.

While the snow and presents are nice,
It just doesn't fill your life with spice.
Nothing will give you that jittery buzz,
Like somebody who loves you just cuz.

I'll stand outside your house in 10 foot snow,
Just to show that I love you ever so.
There is no place I'd rather be, then in your arms,
More so than santas work shop, or the farm.

So here is to all you couples of this Christmas time,
Don't be ashamed of what you have let it shine.
For these are the happiest moments your life,
So guys don't be afraid to make or keep her as your wife.

This time of year is special for many reasons,
You realize what youve got and what is missing.
A time to reflect and look back on life,
To realize what is import in our little world.

So here is to Christmas and all it's holiday cheer,
To a world that will be fruitful and make many happy.
Winter weather and snuggling by the fire with hot coco,
Let it snow and may your Christmas be merry and white.

Long time no see | A True Love

So.. I honestly doubt any of you who originally followed me are still doing so since I haven't posted in awhile.. And for that I'm sorry. Its not like I can pick up poetic inspiration out of no where, and plus since about June I was working a job out of state, and then I came back to school, then there was the release of Battle Field 3, which in my opinion is amazing, yes there are flaws, but the game plays damn well.

So this probably won't be super long, but her, you get what you "pay" for I spose. And again, you are more than welcome to use this material, just give credit should you decide too. Unless you are trying to impress a girl/boy you can just say that you made it up, and just tell me later, would make me feel good to know that you used it to impress a girl.


A True Love:

When I look into your eyes all I see is the world,
A place where beauty, elegance, and pride are all swirled.
When I look at you I don't see this amazing, beautiful, hot, and rockin' body,
I see a thoughtful and thankful person, who is as intelligent as Ghandi.

I can't seem to get my mind off of thoughts of you,
As the rap "artists" would put it "I couldn't imagine it with out you being my boo."
Day and night, I randomly get thoughts of us together,
So I find something to cuddle up with and try not to smother.

Life is short and we are supposed to do all we can,
So all I can do is try to tell you that I, am indeed your biggest fan.
I wouldn't trade what we have for all the money on the planet,
Because I know what we have, is as solid as granite.

I always say that you and your soul are beautiful,
I say it, I speak the truth, even if it makes me seem a little juvenile.
While you may not see it as true, you could ask any guy and they'd agree,
I just want to show, that there won't be anybody to treat you as good as me.

To some the definition of true love is hard to come across,
There are all those who say they'd die for love, but that leaves somebody at a loss.
Others would give up everything they had to be with that person,
But that won't make anything better, it will only worsen.

While I'm not perfect, I think that I've got an idea of what it could be,
It's not giving up everything, It's not dying for it, but a simple decree.
Loving somebody to the ends of the earth is about putting them first and knowing it,
A simple way to show you care not giving up everything to love and cherish the grace they emit.

I can't control your life, and the path you chose to follow,
Just the thought of a man making you feel bad, just turns me hollow.
So all I want to say, is that a guy like me will always treat you right,
Not always the most attractive, but we will try to make everyday of yours bright.

No matter the case, by your side I will always stand,
To catch you when you're down bringing you back up and smile like when you see your favorite band,
Everyday to give you wings that free you and make you feel like a dove,
Now that, that is indeed true love.


So there you have it.

In case you didn't know, my poetry is written in a blurt out style... Meaning once it gets typed I don't erase it or change it (minus spelling corrections), that way its all me and true. In case you were curious.

A wonderful world of snow

So for those of you who don't know yet, the wonderful college world that I attend is covered in ice and snow. So it's kind of cold here. So Friday night it was 10 below and I went outside and boy was that a mistake. Actually the outside part wasn't so bad but other things were but I'll leave that for another day when I care to remember things that are unfortunate. But now ont the real reason for this post, like anyway ago I promised my friend Hannah that I would right a poem about snow and a winter wonderland so now I'm doing this and I must apologize for the delay.

Watching the ground go from green to white,
Gives people the chills and fright.
But to me on the other hand the world is nice,
I wouldn't have it any other way, than covered in ice.

This is no better time to hold a loved one,
To snuggle up, just knowing they are the one, never wanting to run.
The time to hold hands, rub noses, and watch each other blush,
Just knowing your hand is warm cause of theirs is a rush.

Sleigh rides and candy canes, sledding and skating,
These are the most wonderful things about winter there's no debating.
Watching young couples in love, skating around falling all over,
The best thing is seeing the sparkle in her eyes when he says he loves her.

Then there are the snow angels, so innocent and pure,
The only way to make one perfect is with a helping hand for sure.
To watch somebody wiggle around uncermoniously is quiet fun,
It's so ridiculous I'd almost have to run.

The winter is so full of fun, sleigh rides, sledding, and snowball fights,
The world is so grand at these times it's hard to even come in at night.
I want to run and play forever, I like the snow can it stay forever,
Well maybe not forever but for atleast awhile, but not a never.

A new place a new time where the sun always shines,
There will be a time for you and me, to get away from the working grind.
For then we will play all day, not in the hay but so very far away,
Cause maybe, just maybe there will still be snow in may.



Just thought I'd throw that one out there and I am indeed not the best, but I have never told that I am the best. I just do what I love. Writing is a passion of mine, and I'll probably do it till the day I die.

Valentines Day

So this is gonna contain two parts, one is about the interesting day I had and the second will be for a special lady out there.

So onto part one....
So today started out just like any other Monday, woke up and stumbled around trying to find my pants, found em. put em on, then got my shirt on, ate some food brushed my teeth then stumbled out the door to my first class. So this part of the day was really normal, no biggie nothing different. So after my first set of classes I made it home and took a nap, this is pretty usual for my days. After this lovely nap, I was then forced to get food by my suitemate and so then I ate a peanut butter and banana sandwich, it pretty much kinda had made my day at that point. So then I left for class.... Now this is where my day shifted to interesting....

At roughly 3:30 I come back from my class and go through my suitemates door cause I'm to lazy to take the effort to open mine, and find the suite room door closed, which is odd it never is. So then I walk in and what do I find? A CRAP TON of balloons all over my floor. Correction, its technically 45 balloons, but when you just get back from class and you find your floor covered, its a crap ton. So then I cruised around the floor to get to the light switch to turn it on. From there, I had got out my knife and just went at the balloons stabbin and poppin em all, why you ask? because in each balloon there was a piece of paper that had something written about me. So once I got them all out of the balloons I read them and found stuff on my desk.

So this was all by 3:30, there was no name left with it, so I tried to figure it out for the longest time, then gave up. Did I ever find out? yeah, about 30 minutes ago, it was my friends making sure I felt special on today since there is no special girl in my arms today sadly.

But enough of that, onto part two...


Valentines Day,
When guys for sure go out of their way.
To show that one special girl,
That they rock their world.

They are ready to show the world,
That they are talking that leap of faith.
Throwing it all on the line,
And hope that the girl likes them back in kind.

So here I stand a guy not thrown in the wind,
One that was chosen to stick around for awhile.
I was the special one that in her heart she chose,
And I was so happy my heart just for a second froze.

Because the way her hair shapes her face,
Makes me stand back and stare at her grace.
Looking into her lovely eyes with our noses together,
Being so close she has to trust me not to do more.

The flare of the sunset as it crosses over us,
Snuggled up in that blanket looking out at the ocean ablaze.
With my arm wrapped around her shoulder and her head on my chest,
I couldn't be a happier man, no greater blessed.

We just sit there, as other couples hop in their cars,
Watching headlines whiz over us, temporarily blinding.
But I don't care if I can't see for real,
Cause there is a permanent image of her in my mind.

As the day starts to get closer to an end,
I watch the time tick away, slowly closer to midnight.
With the sun down and her starting to shiver,
I rack my brain to find a way to finish the night, hurry think quicker!

My brain clicks and at 11:59 I slow turn her head leaning in,
Her eyes light up, and we both close our eyes and keep moving.
The moment our lips touch, she instantly stops shivering,
Just a soft and simple kiss seemed to make the world stop.

I could care less what happened the rest of this lovely night,
For I've just kissed the most beautiful girl in the world.
This night is never one that I'll ever forget,
A special night, that happens once a year. February 14th.

While this didn't happen to me this valentines day, it gives me hope that maybe someday I'll get something like this to happen on a valentine's day in my life.
There is only one girl in the world right now, and I hope she knows who, I feel bad I can't give her this tonight, but one day I hope too.

So here's to enjoying Valentine's day, make the best of it and show those whom you love that you love them with all your heart.

A mind lost in a sea of thought

An ocean made of straight raw emotion,
It's so loud in my head with all this commotion.
Here I sit on the deck of my decisions a roastin',
I have no idea which way to go in this endless ocean.

This crazy time in life is so full of the unknown,
It feels like an untamed war zone.
My soul mind and body are in a constant fight,
and so far there is no escape in sight.

I can't keep dancing around what I'll soon have to do,
And I'd kill and do anything to end up not a fool.
I gotta get this right, or I'll hate myself for life,
It's not easy, nor will it be fast, but I'll get it in spite.

For now I just wanna get lost in what I call music,
Have the bass be driving in sync with my heart truest.
Hear all the highs and lows and just go with the flow,
Cause out here on the dance floor, I can take it nice and slow.

I'll just dance till my legs can't hold me and I fall,
For then I'll just dance with my arms till I can't even crawl.
I'll loose all my worries, scares, and insecurities, and woe,
But even in all this recovery, I still only wanna dance with you.

I don't care the type, lets not fight tonight,
Be bumpin' and grindin' or to go proper and right.
The style is no biggie, just as long as I feel your energy go,
Course and steam as our combined energy has started to flow.

For then the floor will clear, and nobody will be near,
They will all look and stare, but not at all in fear.
Wondering what will happen next with us while we are in mid flight,
Here is where I make the magic happen and here comes the spotlight.

Awe snap, this can't be real, cause this is how I want to feel,
I wanna be free of this mental fight, and just make it real.
To feel your body go through the intricate dance we haven't planned out,
To whoa, all those in the club, impress the old, and make the young pout.

I'll keep it out of the raunchy and keep it clean,
To make it so that no body has to wish to unsee whats just been seen.
Just feeling your body close with the beat will make me dance all night,
Even if seeing my body in the morning will result in fright.

But I'm not at this point yet cause I don't know what to do,
When all I can think to do, is just stop and stare at you.
Why oh why can't I just have a magical answer book in my pocket,
Cause then it would tell me how to put on your neck that locket.

So until the fog clears in this miserable ocean in my head,
I'm sure I'll be filled with a portion of dread.
So all I can hope to do is to be the best that I can be,
Maybe, just maybe. the right answer will come to me.

So for now I'll just sit and roast,
Hopefully I'll figure it out before I become toast.
For in an ocean of raw emotion, there is no swimming,
For there is no way is there of that tide winning.

For the time will come, with some sort of help will be granted,
Whether is myself, a friend, or a diving being, a process will be started.
Then I will row back to the land of clear thoughts and direction,
Then, just then will I laugh at my previous mis direction.

Then to the dance floor we shall go, and you can pick the tone,
Where to be sexy, grunge, hip-hop or proper, for you I'll shut off my phone.
Then the night will be danced away, and I'll leave with memories of your face,
We'll go home that night, and be well rested, for I know to your heart, its not a space race.